12/31/2023 0 Comments Trauma bond definition![]() Post Corona, she came back from Bangalore after her studies, I did all that was needed and hit an apology text to her. He was drinking daily and mentioning her name. Turns out not only did she yelled at me but got him and his Mother to apologise from me. One day in October, he mentioned he was giving Christene “Driving Lessons” so being the straightforward person that I am, I politely texted her to inform of my equation with him since time immemorial. There was another girl named ‘Christene’ in the neighborhood we grew up together whose brother was his best friend and since she never was in town, I never got a clue of what they shared until recently in August when heated fights were happening between us and he hid all his online activities and spending from me because we had one transparent relationship. He would rate my love based on the times I let him touch me or kiss me. ![]() ![]() I never wanted to even open up myself until marriage considering the person I am but with him, I did everything I would’ve never otherwise done with any guy. I became reason for all his disappointment and even his failures in life. Whenever he got drunk,he’d put the blame on me. My love for him has never for a second diminished but his has from what is reflected. Post 2015, we met back in 2017 and this time we both were adults and having the same birth month, which is JULY, we met this month itself. I soon became ready to take on life in full swing as I head out for college. Still I kept trying to love him despite his constant abuse towards my Family and particularly my Parents. Time passed by and soon it was 2010 but we broke up real bad. ![]() He was always away drinking, partying, chasing different other women but I still held on so tight. They say something about “CHILDHOOD LOVE” and “CRUSHES”, I bet I’ve experienced it all with One Guy my whole life. But the harder he chased me the fonder I grew of him. Two Years he chased me despite I being the innocent and undefiled girl next door. Things were Fantastic until one fine day a guy of barely 18 met me coincidentally and since then my life with regards to LOVE has never been the same. I wasn’t aware that we’d have neighbors around us as I wasn’t accustomed to bonding with one in my previous home. I was barely 13 and so very young and naive in my own world. It was one SUMMER MORNING OF 2005 when we had to relocate to a different locality altogether as a Family. I hope everyone who is stuck in this dynamic can get out The ghosting didn’t help his cause because the time away was helping me see things better, and he still tried to put me back in that cycle, but it didn’t work. I had a friend that saw what was going on it and she helped me understand what was happening, even though it was hard for me. It cost me a lot in my life, during that time. I started reacting angrily and that’s what he wanted. He had his own trauma so I kept making excuses for him, meanwhile, he would keep picking on my trauma, trying to get my PTSD reactions to the surface, even though I had it under control. Cycle repeated over and over again, which conditioned me to chase him for validation. He started ghosting me, then would come back around to show me affection and time. Would put me down and insult me, blame me for why he didn’t feel a certain way about me. When our relationship became physical, that’s when the games started. Played my support system throughout all of this, as if he was the only one who understood what I was going through. He knew I was being bullied and was recently struggling with PTSD and trauma.
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